I finally got back to where I have lost my soul. I thought I lost it but somehow maybe I was wrong. I felt like I never wished to stay here forever and never thought to be back to wherever I lost the meaning of feeling. When I had the chance to see where I wished to be, then I realized that it was not meant to be, where I had to be is only where I choose to be. Where I had to be was not where I was, and never really will be about where I will finally be. I think it will only be when I'm totally peaceful inside of ME.
Let me be clear, I'm not lost, neither with my direction nor with my soul. All I needed is the fresh air and mind to find love. And I needed some romance, some more to get a deeper feeling inside of my life, since I tought I found it away where the real land of mine, I ran away to be there. When I flew over there, the land I dream was not mine as it was before. Greatest thing was, I fell in love with a beautiful and happy girl. And the worst thing was, she was in love with her beautiful and happy logic. That was the biggest difference of our love tendency. However, we felt some kind of a tiny romance and chemistry like the animals can feel the tiniest eartquakes coming.
I'm walking, walking back through my unguided journey, maybe for another half time of a life I'm learning. I'm not against of learning, but I need to speed up my levels for not to be burning,of thinking...When I'm thinking about how I made my turning ,back from my mistakes. My mistake was never about loving enough... Yet, having a small faith into my guts was not able to create enough, to move my faithful steps into my happier life.
No matter what I'm having now or not I'm having yet, I will not let that discourage my gut. But.. I still need to prepare my heart and my wallet agree on throwing the arrow of love, and kill the logical goat.
Sunday, August 10, 2014
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
New Hopes... always new hopes...
After losing a dear sincere relative, at her very young age, and leaving 3 kids behind, I started thinking how to fill this pause, this grey moment of seeing the ugly face of emptiness , of this ''meaningless life''. This is the fact, nothing will remain in this world alive and everyone will meet the black angel, called death. Yet, we are ready to forget about the end to keep on living without knowing our end, to keep moving, without knowing where this is going to take us... Will this road -that we call life- take us to the paradise that we dream, to all the other positive thoughts that we can or cannot even imagine? Or will the other option win, that I don't wanna mention...
As no one would live it on keep thinking of the failure and going to hell, the summary of our choices and efforts, ''life'', will let us know about the end, when we seriously get there... In fact, living in hell or heaven, we don't have to wait until death comes, the negative/positive feelings and judgements we do to us, are so strong to defeat us, to shake us, or to make us fly above the clouds in this journey, that we name ''life''...
There are certain gifts for us to find, against of many disappointments we will have, their cures :
The new hopes...
The new hopes, are the new beginnings., after the previous endings..
They are the new decisions, after losing the faith of old decisions...
They are the new believings, that we attach last, like catching the tree root before you fall over the cliff.
They are the foundings of the digging the secret garden, our inner knowledge, in our deep soul... Somewhere around your heart! Of course not materialistic way...Keep digging in, hope you find a big treasure!
As the wise old say, the biggest wealth is your health (and the loved ones), you have no chance to know until you lose'em, and there is no money on earth is able to buy it back... Repeating, there is no -a lot of zero including- frickin money on earth, can buy it back.. Another brilliant, is the love... You can't buy it either... Huh, I see all the question marks fly over the heads, ''what about the dirty agreement of the weak beautiful looking people and the more powerful people who own the infinitive money?''... If that's the case, don't they buy the love? No, they buy the bodies and joys but, love is the greater level of energy which comes with the soul, that is much more above of them...
If that's the type of love you want, then go ahead for it.. But then, you will never see above of the limits of body, because you never gave a chance to find it by the heart flow...When you get face to face with the fakeness and endness of that so called love, you will have more pain and less faith... Once you have more pain, you will lose all your hope for your peace and then darker scenes are awaiting... I see, in this town, nobody cares about this type of knowledge... Then why would I care for them to waste themselves? All I wanna do, is to make my soul not to be sinked into blue, inside of the sin pool, with full of fakeness for a fool...
I don't choose to be the main character in that scenario. Instead, I would choose to be nobody for them, who loses his hopes for the fake love, and the materialistic super power that he will never go for... (Hmm, but I will keep on achieving materials as a result of my hard work for a living, it doesn't count.. :) )
Instead, I wanna have new hopes to flow with my heart, and find the love which is tested with all the difficulties of the life, and choose to be patient until finding my life long fellow traveller, while overcoming the obstacles together... Because, that's the only way to go through the tunnel of madness, to fly over the cliffs without wings, to be lightened with the real love... That's only that way I can feel united with all the universe which sings the same song.. That's the only way to disappear at the great existence of creator of universe, like a drop in the ocean.... Now tell me, can you seperate the drop from the ocean?
And yes, that's what I wanna know all about, at the next steps of my life...
As no one would live it on keep thinking of the failure and going to hell, the summary of our choices and efforts, ''life'', will let us know about the end, when we seriously get there... In fact, living in hell or heaven, we don't have to wait until death comes, the negative/positive feelings and judgements we do to us, are so strong to defeat us, to shake us, or to make us fly above the clouds in this journey, that we name ''life''...
There are certain gifts for us to find, against of many disappointments we will have, their cures :
The new hopes...
The new hopes, are the new beginnings., after the previous endings..
They are the new decisions, after losing the faith of old decisions...
They are the new believings, that we attach last, like catching the tree root before you fall over the cliff.
They are the foundings of the digging the secret garden, our inner knowledge, in our deep soul... Somewhere around your heart! Of course not materialistic way...Keep digging in, hope you find a big treasure!
As the wise old say, the biggest wealth is your health (and the loved ones), you have no chance to know until you lose'em, and there is no money on earth is able to buy it back... Repeating, there is no -a lot of zero including- frickin money on earth, can buy it back.. Another brilliant, is the love... You can't buy it either... Huh, I see all the question marks fly over the heads, ''what about the dirty agreement of the weak beautiful looking people and the more powerful people who own the infinitive money?''... If that's the case, don't they buy the love? No, they buy the bodies and joys but, love is the greater level of energy which comes with the soul, that is much more above of them...
If that's the type of love you want, then go ahead for it.. But then, you will never see above of the limits of body, because you never gave a chance to find it by the heart flow...When you get face to face with the fakeness and endness of that so called love, you will have more pain and less faith... Once you have more pain, you will lose all your hope for your peace and then darker scenes are awaiting... I see, in this town, nobody cares about this type of knowledge... Then why would I care for them to waste themselves? All I wanna do, is to make my soul not to be sinked into blue, inside of the sin pool, with full of fakeness for a fool...
I don't choose to be the main character in that scenario. Instead, I would choose to be nobody for them, who loses his hopes for the fake love, and the materialistic super power that he will never go for... (Hmm, but I will keep on achieving materials as a result of my hard work for a living, it doesn't count.. :) )
Instead, I wanna have new hopes to flow with my heart, and find the love which is tested with all the difficulties of the life, and choose to be patient until finding my life long fellow traveller, while overcoming the obstacles together... Because, that's the only way to go through the tunnel of madness, to fly over the cliffs without wings, to be lightened with the real love... That's only that way I can feel united with all the universe which sings the same song.. That's the only way to disappear at the great existence of creator of universe, like a drop in the ocean.... Now tell me, can you seperate the drop from the ocean?
And yes, that's what I wanna know all about, at the next steps of my life...
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Life begins where you just thought you lost it
It's funny that I thought it was over. It was over to start dealing with everything coming as a mountain grow, double times hard than it was earlier. But I took a deep breath. And while holding my breath I was praying to God, please don't let them laugh at me again. I promised to myself that I wouldn't run away this time when I see the first difficulty. Maybe I would use my time outs. But will not be a running away, to deal with the newer similar difficulties in different shapes.
Now the game started. I was having bunch of punches from life over and over. Then I made a quick move to the right of him and punched back with the power of my dreams to his stomach of reality. Life was knocked out.
But he is recovering quickly.... I'm now smudged to this reality bubble, must get rid of these real illusions...
I remember the wise old man saying, that life is not as it seems, you must always run after your dreams, that way you can choose your reality to be as visual as the ones that you didn't choose to be in.
Now the game started. I was having bunch of punches from life over and over. Then I made a quick move to the right of him and punched back with the power of my dreams to his stomach of reality. Life was knocked out.
But he is recovering quickly.... I'm now smudged to this reality bubble, must get rid of these real illusions...
I remember the wise old man saying, that life is not as it seems, you must always run after your dreams, that way you can choose your reality to be as visual as the ones that you didn't choose to be in.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Who knows, who knows? No to all NO's!
Who knows that I'm not going to be the catcher of my dreams?
Who says that you are not going to be the only share holder of your own life?
Who can claim that you are just as much as you seem of, like the top of the iceberg? Or as correct as if the earth is as flat as it seems...
Those questions answers are all no...
But if you agree with others about YOU, then think that way... there is no u-turn of losing more...
I'm not going to tell you if anything is true, other than what you believe... Whatever you believe is your only truth and your reality -visual vision about you that has come true... Because, that's how things work in the universe... That's how water flows, and the how the air goes through, and how the flowers grow blue... What else can I add on to that if you don't say NO to all the disbelievers about the talents and facilities for yourself, in yourself? Facility for you, for your family, your society, your country, the whole world and whole universe. Everything starts from a dot. Which is the stand point of if you believe in it or not.
I'm here to tell you a little bit, how my universe is flowing to my dreams. I'm not an outstanding example of a dream come true. But I have my own small success stories like everyone does. The challenge in it, which makes it a huge project, to believe in it, and make the small steps everyday, for the things that you find everyhing about yourself in it.
Who says that I cannot be a writer, in another language that I'm not natively spoken? Who says that I can't be what I want to be, in another country that I'm in? Who can say, I'm not free to increase the amounts of the small steps of the dream stream, instead of having bigger pains for a casual living? I just said NO to all the nos that looks like my reality. Because I'm YES for all -so called dreams- to become my reality.
Since the decision is made, it's time to work, work, work, and visualize the old things to be changed!
Who says that you are not going to be the only share holder of your own life?
Who can claim that you are just as much as you seem of, like the top of the iceberg? Or as correct as if the earth is as flat as it seems...
Those questions answers are all no...
But if you agree with others about YOU, then think that way... there is no u-turn of losing more...
I'm not going to tell you if anything is true, other than what you believe... Whatever you believe is your only truth and your reality -visual vision about you that has come true... Because, that's how things work in the universe... That's how water flows, and the how the air goes through, and how the flowers grow blue... What else can I add on to that if you don't say NO to all the disbelievers about the talents and facilities for yourself, in yourself? Facility for you, for your family, your society, your country, the whole world and whole universe. Everything starts from a dot. Which is the stand point of if you believe in it or not.
I'm here to tell you a little bit, how my universe is flowing to my dreams. I'm not an outstanding example of a dream come true. But I have my own small success stories like everyone does. The challenge in it, which makes it a huge project, to believe in it, and make the small steps everyday, for the things that you find everyhing about yourself in it.
Who says that I cannot be a writer, in another language that I'm not natively spoken? Who says that I can't be what I want to be, in another country that I'm in? Who can say, I'm not free to increase the amounts of the small steps of the dream stream, instead of having bigger pains for a casual living? I just said NO to all the nos that looks like my reality. Because I'm YES for all -so called dreams- to become my reality.
Since the decision is made, it's time to work, work, work, and visualize the old things to be changed!
Friday, December 10, 2010
Need to Catch The Rope To Find A Hope!
I'm persistantly looking for job that I want these days. I'm gonna make it, I'm gonna make it. But hey! I can't find the job. This is making me seriously negative and feel jobless! What's going on, who hid all these jobs that I need? But again hey! Why am I giving up all my hopes? Did I have job for three ages? What is this crazy obsession about. I need a break. And I'm starting to have a dream now.. (or should I say a nightmare?)
I'm lost in a solitary island. And looking for job for days. Who else is coming with me? It's not easy. I must be the first one to get a store done. Otherwise I'll be jobless... And but, where am I supposed to get these customers? Any idea who they were the first comers? I'm sure they don't need any commerce to get it done.
If I was lost in this island, I would not need to check my e-mails to see if any respond to my job applications were submitted. So, I would definitely work on my other options. What to eat? Where to live? Where did all the women hide??? Who is gonna cook? No, no, no. I need to be more creative at this point. No other position is opening to work with ...
HELLLOOOOOOOO! Is anyone there? Not there for God sake. Nobody would hide in a cave, to be bit by snakes? No. Let's look if any more aliens come to this planet JonJon. Follow me. La La La La. I'm singing, because at these moments when you walk alone in a jungled place it's better to sing to keep the sane awake. And sometimes you can get a clue of your creative sides...
I wonder what would be happening if you didn't have chance to show off, when you were lost in a solitary island. Would you still wear the new clothes that you were keeping in the closet? (have no idea how you took it to the island with you). Would you still be selective about food and restaurants? (after days you spent hungry)..
-Nah, I'm not gonna tip well to this jungle cuz the serve was quite late wasn't it?
-????????? Seriously?
....
Would you still be depressed about you don't get any call from your friends (still, in a lost island?)
- None of my friends are poking me back on a regular basis although I poked them in facebook!
-Hey, come on, take it easy. How about flying over the ocean and poke them by a real finger tip.
Let's get over all of this. And let's stop being depressed. Nobody is lost in a jungle of an undiscovered island that noone can show in the map. While I still have the chance of living another moment, I can try to feel being thankful that I'm living! Why not be more positive about something is coming near to me... Yes... I remember the feeling at the train station, that a mild wind is blowing to my face, and a very neat sound comes from a couple of miles away... So somehow, I knew that train would come even before I hear it's noise. That is called hope and I need to catch it tight these days...
I'm lost in a solitary island. And looking for job for days. Who else is coming with me? It's not easy. I must be the first one to get a store done. Otherwise I'll be jobless... And but, where am I supposed to get these customers? Any idea who they were the first comers? I'm sure they don't need any commerce to get it done.
If I was lost in this island, I would not need to check my e-mails to see if any respond to my job applications were submitted. So, I would definitely work on my other options. What to eat? Where to live? Where did all the women hide??? Who is gonna cook? No, no, no. I need to be more creative at this point. No other position is opening to work with ...
HELLLOOOOOOOO! Is anyone there? Not there for God sake. Nobody would hide in a cave, to be bit by snakes? No. Let's look if any more aliens come to this planet JonJon. Follow me. La La La La. I'm singing, because at these moments when you walk alone in a jungled place it's better to sing to keep the sane awake. And sometimes you can get a clue of your creative sides...
I wonder what would be happening if you didn't have chance to show off, when you were lost in a solitary island. Would you still wear the new clothes that you were keeping in the closet? (have no idea how you took it to the island with you). Would you still be selective about food and restaurants? (after days you spent hungry)..
-Nah, I'm not gonna tip well to this jungle cuz the serve was quite late wasn't it?
-????????? Seriously?
....
Would you still be depressed about you don't get any call from your friends (still, in a lost island?)
- None of my friends are poking me back on a regular basis although I poked them in facebook!
-Hey, come on, take it easy. How about flying over the ocean and poke them by a real finger tip.
Let's get over all of this. And let's stop being depressed. Nobody is lost in a jungle of an undiscovered island that noone can show in the map. While I still have the chance of living another moment, I can try to feel being thankful that I'm living! Why not be more positive about something is coming near to me... Yes... I remember the feeling at the train station, that a mild wind is blowing to my face, and a very neat sound comes from a couple of miles away... So somehow, I knew that train would come even before I hear it's noise. That is called hope and I need to catch it tight these days...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)